Mike's thoughts on drums and drumming at
Throw her away and get a new one
Review - DrumCrew February 2006
WHEN A DRUMMER FALLS FROM FAVOR
It's always sad to discover one of your favourite and influential drummers has fallen from grace.
From the heady days of pop super stardom to obscurity can often be a difficult and almost impossible battle for those who are in this position. To be tied with epithet; "has-been" can lead to a multitude of self destructive activities to ease the pain of existence in a fickle world where today's heroes are tomorrow's dribbly blokes with bags of string and a penchant for arguing with themselves.
One such case is a drummer who had the world at his feet in the late 60's, but now struggles to afford a brown banana skin. His influence is immeasurable, his technique left drummers of the 60's agape in awe and admiration, his stage presence was without peer, but after just 2 years in one of the world's most influential bands, his light had been all but extinguished.
Meet Bingo.
The worldwide success of progressive-soul-blues-psychobilly-pop funsters; The Banana Splits, is a well documented one. But not so the years after their controversial and ultimately, career destroying final album, "Slippery When Peeled".
SWP was an exploration of drug fuelled playing, fruit based alcohol and clandestine, nocturnal visits to the ape house of LA Zoo to satisfy their ever increasing expectations of rock and roll excess. None more susceptible than Bingo, the youngest and most naive of the band.
Bingo arrived in America in 1965 from the Jewish quarter of Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso and soon secured a job at New York's Fosseyarium, a short lived museum documenting the artistic, philosophical and engineering contributions that gorillas have made over the years. After a few weeks, due to a total lack of any exhibits, the Fosseyarium was relocated to a small cardboard box behind "Aldo's Pizza and Fish Bait Store" in LA. Bingo, with his strong belief in supporting the display, moved there too. However, shortly after arriving, the box and its contents were seized by police in the now legendary Margherita and Maggots bust of summer 1966.
Whilst in custody, he was celled with an itinerant bass player from the Deep South known only as Drooper. Drooper promised Bingo he would find him work in return for "favours" from the impressionable, young ape. Even to this day, Bingo cannot discuss the days after release without running around the room, screeching and snarling.
Bingo had little choice than to agree and after a time - well, a few times, Drooper's lawyer cousin, Firmer posted bail and Bingo was released into the care of Drooper.
They roomed together at the famous "Say No More - wink wink" Motel in downtown LA and could often be seen rubbing shoulders with Marlene Dietrich, Peter Fonda, Yosemite Sam and were rumoured to have been supplied with banana reefers by Mr Magoo at this time.
For about 18 months they toyed about with their first band, "! And the semi-colons" but things changed when they bumped into future band-mate, Snorky in the "Grape Soda-a-Go-Go" who, at the time was looking for "some serious trunk action". Almost immediately, they formed a bond and upon leaving the “All Nude Pachyderm Revue" on Pothole Strip, they vowed to form a band and take on the world.
Within a week they had spotted an ad in Variety, asking for "Animals that would scare the living sh*t out of humans if they met them on the street" and the next day, they were in the offices of Earl J. X. $. De Gonadberger, producer of a new TV show. Earl introduced them to Fleegle a legendary guitarist who was said to have persuaded Muddy Waters to trade his euphonium for a guitar after giving him a couple of lessons.
Fleegle was of undeterminable species and sexuality and had an eye for Bingo. Later on in their relationship, other parts of Fleegle's anatomy had an attraction for certain physical attributes of the red gorilla.
Rehearsals commenced, the first footage was shot, and the show was a hit! Within six months they were playing to 300,000 people at the Enormodome, Urinal, Idaho. The rest as they say, is history.
But what of after the show? When SWP was released, town councils and religious leaders whipped up a frenzy of anti-Banana feeling, bonfires to burn the Bananas records and merchandise sprang up overnight, banana importers were run out of town on their own skins - the dream was over.
Bingo struggling for "the perfect beat" during the troublesome SWP sessions
Bingo carried on the dream with new "Splits" members for a few years, but they never regained their former glory, the world couldn't accept Dirk the Dromedary, Francois the Rancid Rat and Fritz the Paranoid Golden Retriever. He made a brief comeback when he recorded an album of Leonard Cohen covers and completed a short tour of Norway. The reviews were not good, the Tronthiem Gazette even went as far as to say; "Helt fryktelig, den eneste redemption fur dette vært drummer var mengdene av naken politikvinner som sprette opp og ned i løpet av hans gjengivelse av "I er en Depressed Jewish Monkey - Hey Nonny Nonny".
He achieved a certain degree of notoriety when he appeared in the German skin flick "Großer Affe Wasser Sport IV - diesmal gibt es Keine Bananen" in 1992 and had a cameo role in the British sex romp "Oops Missus! You Don't Get Many of Those to the Pound! Fnarr! Fnarr!" in 1998.
Since then he has struggled with his liquidised banana habit with varying degrees of failure. There is talk of another comeback attempt with Snorky, as they are both working on an album, tentatively entitled "Banana Splat" in a bid to convince the world of their true musical credentials.
After the SWP debacle, Drooper joined the "Piggly Wiggly Marching Band" in Piddle-on-the-Wold, Texas, became a priest and is currently running for Governor General of Florida. Fleegle, meanwhile released a string of solo efforts including "Lamppost of Desire", "Butts I Have Met and Remember", "You Really Get Used To The Taste After a While" and his magnum opus; "Bitch in a Studded Flea Collar". He joined Grand Funk Railroad for two weeks in 1987 and shortly afterwards was found dead in his kennel after an overdose of dry food.
Bingo - a lesson to all drummers.
Once again, you rule. Damn. I've got to get back to the old country to have thirty four or so drinks with you.
Haha sum good stuff man it perfectly outlines my dad. keep on writing those things. Peace
Mike, it's like you've been following me around since 1983. Good show.
That was the best thing i've read in a year.
Now this is quality stuff. Ellis, once again, you're a genius!
You are a very bad man Mike. Very sick. I now know I'm the only sane man on this board now.
Dang, guys. There oughta be a law against this.
Ellis, you da man! LOL Even my three year old daughter loved that!
Mike, LOL,LOL,LOL. Some of the best comic writing I have seen. Good god, I am old enough to remember "The Splits". Great story about one on my favorite bands. Man, I wish the people I worked with had this much imagination. Brilliant.
hey, mike. great article. makes me feel as if I didn't make all the wrong decisions in regards to purchasing and modifying my kit.(after reading many posts out here, I followed some of the advice I received, only to read other posts afterwards and spend a considerable amount of time second-guessing my decisions) I guess when it really comes down to it, it truly is just a simple case of "to each his own". kudos!......homer
Great job Mike!
Hey Mike great article, I loved the statement about the man with huge eyebrows, and knuckles dragging (sound man).... LOL! I also agree with you 100%.
Mike, Well written and very funny. Do you think that I might have been as funny as you had I stayed in England?
great article...read my mind!!
Hi Mike - very funny article. I have to say the "Naked Lunchtime Gig" article had me howling. Good character building stuff. I shall await your further contributions with much anticiaption and in the mean time - I'll get my coat! I thank you.
Mike, you have "hit the nail on the head". At my age of 49 you have pretty much written my life story and we don't even know each other. I wonder how many other "greying drummers" out there can relate?
Mike, I can see that you researched your subject very well. I found I could trace my history through the stages of the developing drummer (as unsettling as that may be). Please feed us more. Thanks.
Hilarious. Can't say as there are many of those gigs in the Chicago area. However, it looks like the band manager finally earned a heart felt pat on the back.
Another excellent article Mike
Good article and pretty much on the mark I think. Thanx for posting it! Sometimes the obvious isn't...well, obvious.
Great article, you'll never see something like that in MD magazine. I thought it was hysterical. If I could only get that DW Lake superior kit with nickel lugs then I guess it would sound better. HA.
Wow!! That article says everything I have been saying about my kit for the last 5 years... Thanks for posting that one
Well done!
Y'all made my day.
Mike , man your having an "A" game today.
Advantage mikeellis........touche'
Mike, Well done! Next time warn a guy before he stumbles into one of your articles. The looks I got from my office mates when I started laughing uncontrollably while reading this was quite embarassing. I'm glad to know what finally know what bacame of Desmond. Well at least he's gainfully employed.
Gosh Mike, that's nice. I like your sense of humour, it kinda reminds me of mine. I visited your website afterwards. You're an animal! Your 14x14 rack tom is bigger than my floor tom (14x10, mounted).
That was most entertaining!
I don't know about you, but that got my Thursday off to a good start!
OK...I'll only say "WOO-HOO" once!!
That is the saddest story I've ever heard. Of course, you were the gentleman to thank the ladies.
that was insane!! great writing too.
that would be the most fucking awesome thing in the world, god damn!
Your out there my brother! But I love it! And I have been pretty close to all of those.
How do you think of this stuff?
Good article! Nice.....
Ellis, You're geniuses!
Very excellent article, Mike! *claps*
Good 'un Mike!
Mikey, Your creativity amazes me. How in the world do you come up with this stuff?!
Mike , you are the man. Did I ever tell you that?
Mike... er, sorry, Mr. Banana, you are the only person who can me make laugh out loud in front of a monitor sreen, man!
Well done once again!
...Mike. If I ever start drinking again, I will be on the first plane to England to buy you a drink. Or two.... Great stuff.
your story had me laughing out loud till the boss walked by... You got a talent there, Bubba.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, YOU SAW IT HERE FIRST, mikeellis, COMIC GENIUS!!! That's one of the few good things the USA misses out on over on the other side of the Atlantic!!
What great stories you have! What a grueling gig! Very interesting reading to an American from Texas (originally from Michigan). Keep the stories coming... Love the Monty Python-esque humor. (thats spelled "humor") Til next time,
Selected items from various drum forums.
Scott - KIT & KABOODLES
posted July 12, 2002 07:16 PM
I have a kit. Two of them, in fact. But I don't have any kaboodles. I'm not even sure what they are. Do I need them?
mikeellis
posted July 13, 2002 04:36 AM
A Kaboodle is a marsupial, dinstictive in that it lives outside the closed environment of Australasia, where marsupials are usually found.
It makes it's home in the upper reaches of boom cymbal stands and mates every 23 minutes. It's offspring are called Kaboodlettes and will grow a height of 6 inches and a width of 4 feet in just a few days.
Kaboodles are pack hunters and can often be seen roaming golf courses in search of food to take back to the cave. As Kaboodles have very short memories, these hunting packs often are unsuccessful as they can't remember what they are hunting for. Many packs have starved to death when the pack leader has opted to catch everything they see and take it back to the cave for approval from the female Kaboodles. However, after 3 days of presenting, lawnmowers, supermarket shelving, staplers, dog baskets, shop dummies, car jacks, bottles of vinegar, ocean liners, trees, string, blu-tak, packets of rice and squirrels, the pack has died from malnutrition as the females have forgotten what they were supposed to be approving.
When they get it right, Kaboodles favourite diet consists of wood chippings, doughnut crumbs, dead parrots (not resting), beer and fart gas. There is only one Kaboodle known to be in captivity in Lady Grunt Futtock's private collection in Little Throcking Norton, Bedfordshire.
Next week: The EMAD, the world's only sea bound mammal that struggles to survive on icebergs in Carribean.
Originally posted by Sqwee: DRUMHEADS
I'm currently using a red Mapex Mars Pro. I Love the looks of them and hell, I've done a few modifications to them to make them just my own, but what should I do to get rid of the nasty over tones I'm still getting?
Should I try moon gell or something? Should I invest in pinstripes or Attack No Overtones? Can someone help?
Sqwee, out.
mikeellis replied
Try Pinstripes before you start sticking anything to the heads, G2's are also worth trying and they give (IMHO) better stick clarity than PS's. It's sexual preference shouldn't affect it's overall resonance but beware of "sympathetic ring" from other kits or drums that may be g/bi. This could do permanent pyschological damage if your kit it confused or going through an experimental phase.
You should also be aware that older, vintage kits often go cruising looking for younger kits late at night and the more brusque and immoral vintage kits lure young kits with the promise of a "new head" or a look at their "tension rods", so until your kit is ready to make an informed lifestyle choice, it's best to keep it away from those parts of town. Ultimately, of course, the lifestyle choice for your kit is up to your kit.
Another clue to a kit's sexuality can be found in what it does in it's leisure time. Listening to Village People CD's, lingering around construction sites on hot, sunny days, frequent visits to the public conveniences when you are taking your kit for a walk in the park, asking to be re covered in a pink or gingham wrap, these all could be give aways as to the kit's preference.
There are support groups who would be happy to discuss any issues your kit may have, including sexual orientation, contraceptives for modern percussion, tuning, damping, moistening and the best sorts of lubrication available to avoid damage to bearing edges during sexual congress.
One area you should beware of is drum S&M. This can often be inadvertently started by the kit player by the simple use of a belt from the drum stool to the BD spur and can light the blue touch paper of experimentation that few kits recover from. There have been a number of well documented cases of kits that on the outside, seem perfectly normal - but the owner has returned unexectedly one day, to find his beloved new DW kit tied to a bed and being whipped by a slavering Radio King with a Gibralter boom arm with the felts removed.
Try discussing these matters with your kit if you are concerned and with some gentle discussion, understanding, soft lights, slow music, dancing - who knows what could happen.....
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